


The First Step To Downfall

by MsHarleyQuinn



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Animated Series, Harley Quinn (Comics)
Genre: Arkham Asylum, Gen, Harleen Quinzels past, before Harley meets the Joker, looking forward into the future of Harley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-13
Updated: 2015-02-13
Packaged: 2018-03-12 05:58:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3346118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsHarleyQuinn/pseuds/MsHarleyQuinn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Harleen signed the papers, she had no idea. She was utterly and totally clueless. To anything.</p><p>[...]</p><p>She had no idea.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The First Step To Downfall

When Harleen signed the papers, she had no idea. She was utterly and totally clueless. To anything. She did not think about it. She didn’t even have a feeling in her gut. A feeling such as you get when you walk down a dark alley and suddenly know that something is wrong. That something can’t be right. Or the feeling you get when writing an important test and know that you will fail. The feeling when talking to the new neighbour who happens to not be whom he pretends and has a certain secret. Or even the moment when saying goodbye to a loved one and having this sudden urge to say goodbye properly.

No, she didn’t know anything. She spent no thought in any kind of that direction. Actually, she didn’t think at all. It was just making an action, no head work included. Surely she did think before. And certainly after, too. A lot. Not that she wouldn’t think through such a decision. She was not a naïve girl even though most people always seemed to reduce her to that. She long ago stopped wondering why that may be. People were weird, that is. Was it the fact that she was a woman in a subject dominated by men? Or more the way she behaved with others. You can have fun, giggle and be girly and still have a clever mind. Well, who knows?

No, no. She really did think about it. But apparently not enough.

Harleen Quinzel was still too caught up in the fact that finally after – in her opinion – enough time of wait she was able to call herself **Dr.** Harleen Quinzel. A fact that made her get a bit witty in her head. An actual Doctor of Psychiatry – oh yes. Oh, all the things she had to do to get so far. She would never mention them to anyone asking, obviously. Yeah, poor Guy Kopski. Though it got her what she wanted. Not that she didn’t like him; he was indeed a nice guy. She enjoyed his company. The dates were nice, the kisses were nice. Some of the mornings were nice. Was it love even? Probably not but not that she could tell. The curiosity has always been her only love. The subject of curiosity changed in time, at the moment it was curiosity about the human mind and everything mental. That really got her intrigued. She was pretty sure somehow she would stick to that. Oh, and she loved her parents. Once at least. Maybe. In time you forget a lot of things. Or a lot of things just don’t matter any more. And of course let’s not forget lovely brother Barry. So maybe there were other things than curiosity. But they haven’t mattered quite some time. 

So deep inside she might be a bit sorry for Guy. But it has been such an interesting experiment. Gotta admit that she didn’t plan **ALL** of it – you can never plan everything. You would be foolish to think so. Sometimes you just have to let things happen and go with how the wind flows. Let the chaos rule. But soon she would know much more of that matter – or at least she would think so.

Dr. Quinzel always knew that to become successful you sometimes have to do stuff that is not – well – totally socially acceptable. That had nothing to do with her lack of empathy. She did have a conscience but her boundaries have always been drastically different than what the society would refer to as ‘normal’ people. But who wants to be normal? Harleen surely never wanted that. A long time ago maybe. Though at some point in your life you just have to accept reality. That you are who you are. And that you can’t change that. And that pretending to be someone else will not bring you far and especially will never make you happy. Not that she was very happy or that it mattered. She wasn’t even sure if she really knew what true happiness felt like. And she wouldn’t be that naïve enough to think she already found her true nature. But step by step you get there. Eventually.

So doing these things were not things she would regret. She didn’t. And now, finally, she got what she wanted. Not her lifelong dream but it was a first step in the right direction, she knew it. She always admired the Arkham Asylum, always wanted to know what it was like to walk the corridors but even more so to work there. It was pure luck that she was finally able to fulfil that dream. That was now at least. Later she would claim it as fate and destiny.

Getting the first contacts inside Arkham wasn’t difficult. She did have Dr. Markus. And of course one thing lead to another and she found herself in a job interview with Dr. Jeremiah Arkham himself. Still she was very happy when he accepted her. On her first work day she woke up early and immediately went to work. The woman on the reception was a bit confused, though. Well, what does such a person know?

Her request was not taken seriously at first. They thought it was a joke – why would she make a joke about it? Then as they began to realize she was serious about it they were to turn her down. Saying she was not professional enough for it. That she could not handle it. That it would be suicide. That she did not know what she asked for. Again they saw her as the naïve girl she definitely wasn’t – she was not! It took a bit of a talk and a lot of nerves but eventually it was granted. Ok, maybe it was the fact that she claimed to write a book on serial killers and not actually wanted to be a long-term psychiatrist or so. It was only half a lie. A book was not planned but she indeed wanted to know about the mind of a serial killer. At least this specific one. Ever since he appeared in the public she somehow felt connected. Not in the weird ‘we are the same, we belong’ way, that would be scary. Right? Right. No but in the ‘I believe it to be my responsibility to find out who this one really is’ way. It might even be a reason why she was so much more eager to go to Arkham Asylum when he was locked up there. But only maybe.

The book excuse though gave her more access than she ever would have dreamed about. She couldn’t wait till she would be able to use that access.

Which lead to this exact moment. Signing the papers for the permission and access and blah blah blah. She never really cared for all this bureaucratic crap. That was exactly why she wasn’t thinking when she signed them. Thinking before about possible consequences – definitely yes! Even though she found no dangers in it. She could handle a maniac. She never let people get her, why would she let him? Thinking after signing – maybe a bit. But not in this exact blip in time.

So, she was indeed totally clueless. Was not aware of the importance of this moment. How it would change her life forever. And how would she have known?

Of course she did not know that soon she would meet the guy who would turn her world upside down. That she would be confused, then scared, then interested, then intrigued, then obsessed and then insane. She had no idea of the new world view she would soon get. How important chaos would become. How she wouldn’t be able to sleep at night. How she wouldn’t want to go home any more at all. How she would want to spend every possible moment in the company of the mysterious man with the white face and the red smiling mouth. How he would open her eyes. And that she finally would know what love really feels like. How it would hit her like a wild wave in the ocean breaking on the rocks. How she finally would feel happy – or at least thinking she would be happy. How this man would make her give up everything that she ever worked for. How she would give up her life completely. How she would become someone else entirely. How she would kill and torture for him. That she would follow this man, full of love and obsession. How her heart would be broken, over and over again. That she would hate and love him at the same time and that there would be no escape out of this unhealthy insanity. That she would still and always would believe that under all this masks and jokes and lies and evil chaos there was indeed a deep love, that he really loved her. She had no idea that she would even go and fight against the mysterious and almighty Batman. What other mysterious beings she would meet. That she would never be the same again. That her fate was sealed the moment she signed the papers.

She had no idea.

“Thank you. That was all.” The lady took the papers and smiled up warmly and encouraging. “Well, I wish you good luck, Dr. Quinzel.”

“Oh please call me Harley. Everyone does.”

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first story in a very long time. Hope it turned out good. Tell me what you think :)


End file.
